Postpartum

So, Jake is here and is doing great. He is such a good baby I count my lucky stars that he lets me sleep and go places without too much trouble. I think I had a pretty easy and quick delivery. I was very worried about the week after, with my son it was a hard week for me. No one ever seems to talk about the postpartum weeks and what you experience. So, I figured it would be ok to talk about it on here. So, here's what I have dealt with this time around...

In the hospital Jake latched on and breastfed like a champ. It didn't hurt and he was getting enough to eat. About the same time we got home from the hospital my milk came in, and no one ever tells you how badly that hurts. I expected it this time, since I remember the pain so clearly from the first time, but boy does it hurt. Rock hard does not even begin to cover it! I became so full and engorged that every time Jake would latch on, I could barely breath because of the pain. It was excruciating!! After the first minute, the pain stopped, and then my uterus would start to contract. That hurt so badly! So between the first latch and the contractions, breastfeeding was a painful experience. I dreaded it!  I knew that to ease the engorgement I needed to get Jake to feed as often as possible, but he just wasn't interested. So I hurt because he would refuse to feed. I thought about pumping, but I didn't buy a pump this time because I didn't know if I would be able to breastfeed, so I couldn't relieve the pain by pumping. On our 3rd night home, I was up late at night, tired, hurting so badly, and found myself begging Jake to eat but he wouldn't eat.  I sat there thinking about how I planned on switching to formula when I returned to work and school, and made the decision to switch to formula and let my milk dry up. So, after letting my hubby know how I felt, we decided to switch.  I woke up several times in the night to puddles of milk in my bed, and yet I was still so engorged, so I read up on ways to dry up milk fast and everything said cabbage leaves. So I walked around the last few days with cabbage leaves in my bra, and it is zapping my supply quickly, and they are almost pain free now! I also iced them when they hurt.  Oh, and a tight bra is a must!  Jake is now 100% bottle fed and he is doing great. Eating every 3 hours! It was quite an emotional experience to make this decision. I felt so much guilt that I wouldn't be giving Jake everything I could, but in the end I decided that Jake needs a happy Mommy, and this is something I had to do to keep my sanity.  I do take pride in how long I actually was able to breastfeed Jake and just knowing that my body worked enough this time to make it happen is comforting. And speaking of emotional roller coaster... I think my next blog will be about the emotional side of the postpartum time.  But for now, this tired Momma is gonna sleep since baby is sleeping!