I've had the unfortunate pleasure of being seen by MANY doctors in only the last 4 years... I think I've seen a total of 10ish OBGYNs in the last 4 years, and it is discouraging to me that I have not found one that I would recommend to my friends, one that I feel has my interests at heart, and someone who sees me as more than their paycheck. It is frustrating to me, that doctors are so quick to prescribe medication to fix everything, and that most of the time they don't listen.
This doesn't have anything to do with TTC, but I just took my 2 year old to the doctor because he would be in extreme pain every time he had a bowel movement. I mean, screaming bloody murder pain, and sometimes he would blister and just have random bleeding out the rectum. Sorry if this is TMI...just trying to give you a summary of what's wrong. Anyways, it's been going on for more than a month, and it doesn't matter if is a soft or hard poop, he still screams. And he is not constipated, because he goes regularly every day pretty much. So, I finally schedule him an appointment and my usual doctor is not there. I guess I can say he is one doctor I like... he has been my son's doctor since he was in the hospital at birth... anyways, he wasn't there, but being so desperate to get my baby boy some relief, I agreed to meet with another doctor. BIG MISTAKE! I explained the situation to him, he lays my son down on the little table thing, and does some feeling around in his abdomen. He says, "He's probably just constipated. Try mixing a stool softener into his juice in the morning and that should fix it." I explained that it was not constipation, and the doc basically just stared at me like, "I'm the doctor and this is what I say it is, Give him a stool softener." So, I was getting irritated that he wouldn't listen or even consider anything else. So I rudely asked (yes, I know I was being rude, but I didn't care by that point) "So what do I do about the blisters and random bleeding coming from inside of him?" His anwer... DIAPER RASH CREAM! As far as I know, that is for EXTERNAL use only...and I think the problem is inside. Then before asking if there was any other questions, he just walked out of the room and I was left to escort myself out of the office. Anywho... I was/am so mad at that waste of time, and I plan to go back on Thursday to talk to my usual doctor and even file a complaint against this guy.
Anywho...it made me think about doctors in general and the overall experience I've had with them. I've comprised a lit of everything I would like to see in a doctor, so if you'd like, read it, add to it, customize it. These are just things I want, and plan to ask the doctors as I choose the next doctor for my next pregnancy. It's best to decide on a doctor before hand, that way you are not rushed into picking one just to get medical care.1. I want a female doctor. From my experience, they are a little more sympathetic to my feelings.
2. I want a doctor that will deliver at the hospital of my choice. I'm surprised at how many doctors deliver at only one hospital in town...3. I want an OBGYN that is more like a midwife. I want one who is trained as an OBGYN but puts more emphasis on me and the birth, rather than making it just a job. I want someone who can stick with me through any complications and not have to pass me over to a strange doctor if I need more serious care.
4. I want a doctor who is patient. They knew what they were signing up for when they got their job... I don't want a Dr. who wants to cut me at 8cm just so I'll deliver faster so he can go home. That's your job buddy, deal with it.
5. I am not against Vacuums or forceps persay, but I'd like to avoid them if possible. I need my Dr. to understand that, and give my body a chance to do what it's designed to do.
6. I want my OBGYN to be proactive about helping me keep a pregnancy. I want frequent monitoring of my pregnancy.
7. I want my doctor to do the ultrasounds, not an ultrasound tech, OR I would like my doctor to be present for ultrasounds. Past UTsweren't as personable, because they know nothing about me.8. I want a doctor that is pro-herbal/natural medicines. I'm no hippy, and I like my epidural, but I want a doc who's supportive of taking a natural approach to medicine and feeling good.
9. I want a doctor that calls me back with my lab results, not some 18 year old receptionist who knows nothing about what she is telling me.
10. And lastly, I'd like a doctor to speak kindly about me at all times. I've had doctors who will step outside and talk to a nurse and speak badly about me, not realizing I can hear him through the door.
I just want a doctor who is worth keeping. I hear stories about how women love their doctors and stay with them for years, and even have their kids see them when they have babies. I want a keeper doctor.
But for now the search continues!
One thing I'd suggest to look for is a doctor that's a DO, not an MD. A DO is a Doctor of Osteopathic (not sure if that's the exact correct term) medicine. My OB/GYN is a DO and he's great. I had an IUD and it caused alot of hormonal issues, particularly with depression and anxiety and a general feeling of "I feel crappy.. all the time." So I went to see him to take it out, and of course I explained to him how I was feeling. He said it has the lowest level of BC hormone, so it shouldn't be affecting me like that; but he'll take it out anyways.
ReplyDeleteHe suggested seeing how I feel after it was taken out, and he also advised to get outside more, and be active. He said try that for 3 months, and if it doesn't help or I feel worse, to come back in, talk to him and then he'd recommend me to a therapist. Not once did he mention anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medications. Of course, it ended up being the IUD, I realized I cannot handle any type of hormonal birth control; mostly due to my extremely small stature. But it's nice knowing that he was willing to address the bigger issue in a non-medication way.
I've got a friend who also sees a GYN DO -she's past the normal age for childbearing- and her doctor is great as well. He's very much into alternative therapies such as acupressure, chiropractic medication and massage.
It's my understanding that DO docs tend to avoid heavily medicating their patients and they are more open to other methods. I know you don't want a male OB, but I really wished you were local, I know you'd really enjoy seeing my OB/GYN.. he's great with a fantastic sense of humor!
I second the DO option as I understand they are trained and usually try and view the whole picture rather than focus/zone in on symptoms.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you might want to try and find a midwife. That may seem a little counter-intuitive since you like your epidural, but most midwives seem to provide what you are looking for and can help you with your well-woman appts. If you find a good one she may even be able to point you in the direction of a doctor or two who is like-minded (or at least open-minded).
Oh, and also... you can try and look for OB practices where midwives and doctors work together.
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